Soapbox

Q: Are you one of the best antiques experts?

A: “No, when I joined Goldings at 21, I knew all there was to know about antiques! Sadly, I think I believed it. Now I know that the voids in my knowledge are in need of restoration, some beyond repair. I am not academic and I understand my limitations. It took years of re-sits to pass the RICS exams, the standards are very high. When actually doing the final ‘hands-on’ part I won the RICS/ATG award for professional practice. That should tell you enough”

Q: Are you one of the best auctioneers?

A: ”No, I truly believe I am the best, but strangely enough I know a couple of others that think they are too! The best auctioneers are the ones that will try for every last bid, work an audience and do their best for their client, irrespective of the value of the goods. Seeing so many different auctioneers now on the television, there is a clear distinction between an ‘Auctioneer’ and a ‘Bid Counter’. There is some rubbish out there. The ISVA Young Auctioneer Competition was very important to me, being runner-up three times was hard to swallow, but at least I did win it selling Hyde Park for £8.6million, again the standards were very high every year. Perhaps it is because I take the professional part of the job very seriously, that I have so much fun with what I sell and to whom I sell it!”

Q: What do you like most about your job?

A: “If I was on the rostrum 5 days a week it would be a perfect world.”

Q: What do you like least about your job?

A: “Well here we go…”

People saying “I won a lot!”

No you did not, that is dog food and this is not a lottery! You did not WIN anything you are a successful purchaser and you will have to pay!

People standing at the back saying “I cannot hear you.”

“There are 20 free seats at the front – use one!”

People claiming “You missed my bid!”

“That is why we give you paddles, you didn't use it and now you are up the creek!”

People asking “Is there a reserve?”

Answered politely with “The estimate is £x-y”,

Then being asked again “Is there a reserve?” (when it is none of their business!)

Answered with “Yes”, then I walk away before the next stupid question is asked.

A certain breed of Internet Buyer.

This increasing good-for-nothing group of individuals buying at auction and mis-using 'Condition Reports' as an excuse to break the contract. They think they are buying homogenous goods at S&M (?) or some other high street shop. They are ruining it for those genuine buyers that require further information to assess what to bid and who understand the risk and responsibility of not viewing in person.

And Finally my Appraisal Day Rules

1.   I will NOT advise on the value of anything that may realize less than £30.

If I say it may make £5-10, you may decide not to enter it and it could have made £20-30. 

If I say it may make £20-30, everyone only remembers £30 and I do not need the grief when it makes £12! Get a life.

Simple question - Do you actually want to sell it?

Saleable, NOT Valuable

Means, yes we can sell it, but no we will not value it.

2.   Information is the key to Valuation.

Now, tell me all the history you know including past valuations, irrespective of date or purpose.

3.   The following comments are forbidden…

‘Is that all? The answer is YES.

‘I’ve seen it on the internet (or TV) for more than that!’ You obviously did not read Rule 2.

‘My reserve will be y!’ Our valuation was x-y, you obviously were not listening.

‘I would like a second opinion.’ No problem, but it will not be as high as the first.

CAVEAT EMPTOR – MORT!

Auctioneering is the second oldest profession. Simple concept, the seller pays the agent a commission for selling their goods. The buyer pays the hammer price (and in Lincolnshire a buyers premium – we set the standards, others follow) and takes his goods away.

With that come all encumbered profits or losses. They take their medicine the same way they take their champagne. Caveat Emptor – Buyer Beware!

For centuries everyone knew where they stood.

From 1900 to 1988 Golding Young had only eight Conditions of Sale. Unfortunately in the last 30 years the simple system has been damaged by poorly drafted legislation from people who have no consideration or understanding of auctions. This has been compounded by interference from Europe.

You now have had to read over 40 terms and conditions. Well, this is progress for you.

Caveat Emptor RIP - the day the auction died?

AUCTION LAW & PRACTICE – ALIVE!

Professor Brian Harvey and Frank Meisel have now published the long awaited 3rd Edition of Auction Law and Practice. My recommendation – Buy It.

This is the ‘Bible’ and first point of reference in any matters of dispute. In a litigious led new world, it will become the most thumbed book in the auction room overtaking Bradbury’s silver hallmarks.